All I ever wanted to be- was a hair on Brit-nee
one she couldn't shave
one she would always have to bathe
and if I couldn't be that
then I wanted to be a wart on Hillary's nose
one that grows and grows and grows and grows
until she can't see nothing - not even her toes
and if I can't be that then I want to be an elephant gnat
one so big that when I try to fly, I will crash into Pelosi’s eye
and if there is a tear of pain then I will know her tears are real and not from an onion peel
and if I can't be that then I'd like to be the lice that jumped into Oprah's rice
and if I couldn't be that I'd like to be the hair on A.O.C.’s chin
then I would grow and grow and grow
until her chin was the Rip Van Winkle of New York
and if I couldn't be that, well - well – well,
then I just signed up for a gov-ment check
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