Never pinch your wife's himroids because she didn't wear green on Saint Patrick's Day.
Never spit in the wind when it's blowing in a policeman's face.
Never tell a judge that a good enema would get rid of their 'full of it' attitude.
Never pull the emergency brake when you are skiing downhill.
Never imagine Whoopi in a thong.
Never believe A.O.C. when she says I am told it was a bitch slap, but I have never seen a bitch slap.
Never walk down wind of Nancy Pelosi.
Never grab your nose and run out of the Oval Office when Joe farts.
Never buy a one-way ticket to hell with dirty deeds.
Never order steak at a restaurant when you have left your teeth at home.
Never blame the horse because your ass won't fit in the cart.
Never fart when the Democrats are hungry because you won't be able to outrun them.
Never believe that anybody rich cares about anybody more than their success.
Never believe the Democrats when they say just bend over a little more... that's all.
Never forget that karma is in control of your destiny.