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Updated: Jan 21, 2020

My Daddy always said when the Sergeant of Arms and the janitor were talking before he was to announce the Speaker of the House, the Sergeant of Arms jokingly asked, will she or won't she be wearing a diaper? If she's wearing a diaper, I'll call her Speaker Pelosi. If she isn't wearing a diaper, I'll call her Leaker of the House.

By the time it was time to introduce the Speaker, the Sergeant of Arms, along with the janitor had consumed a couple of gallons of Hillary's Mad Dog 20-20 wine and they were feeling fine, real fine, really-really fine. The Sergeant, drunk as a Democrat skunk began his intro.

Ladies and gentlem - no, no, can't say that anymore. So, here goes: Hooters and cooters - butts and guts, them with and them without nuts. The Leaker of the House isn't wearing a diaper so will there be piddles or puddles? Will there be little monuments of Schiff? So, without farting a pooh - poop - before she does the number one or the number two, please hold your nose for, Speaker Pee Loosely.

Also, the Brooklyn Bridge is for sale.

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