Updated: Jan 16, 2020
My Daddy always said when speaker of the house, Nancy Pelosi, addressed the American people and not undressed the American people about Trump's impeachment, not about his imorangement, Pelosi said with a crooked finger (we still don't know if it was a birdfinger) butt - but... back to the speech.
"My fellow farting Americans, I know I sound dazed and confused - but - butt... I have not been dropping or smoking with Hunter Biden or Hunter S. Thompson. I've just been in the ass gas chamber - 'that's the house chamber' - too long. Please somebody, anybody, just send my tired old ass back to my home by the bay, San Francisco. Where the sidewalks, alleys, doorways, streets and parks have millions of piles of stinking rotting schiff. For it is far better to smell a hot turd than stale tail air so don't blame me, blame Trump. It's his fault! Everything is Trump's fault! Even the mosquito that got the old fake-a-hontas Warren's only drop of Indian blood is Trump's fault.